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Focus on Me!

“Stop playing with your phone!” Does it sound familiar to you? This latest and trendy term known as “phubbing” can ruin your relationship.

70% said smartphones were causing a conflict in their romantic relationship, according to a recent studies of 145 females by James Roberts, a professor of marketing at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, who studies the impact of technology on everyday behavior. To be phubbed is to be snubbed by your partner who using his or her cell phone when in your company. The “phubb” could be an interruption of your conversation with someone when he or she attends to their cell phone or when you are in close proximity to each other but they use their cell phone instead of communicating with you. One of the obvious consequences is that you feel hurt when the phone seems to take priority over you.

“Phubbing” = “Phone” + “Snubbing”

Focus on Me

Try look around the next time when you go out to eat in a restaurant, as there is a very high chance that you will noticed at least a few couples who are sitting face to face yet staring down at their screens. And while occasionally pausing to answer a text or check a work emergency may seem harmless, but, over time these distractions add up and will impact the quality of a relationship.

Part of the problem is how addicted we’ve become to our phones. It somehow impacting the other person’s self-esteem. “Why aren’t I good enough?” often becomes the running dialogue in their head because they are not getting the attention from those they love. This can create a domino effect:

“When we are not happily in love, we are also less likely to be satisfied, over all, with life. We are also more likely to report that we are depressed.” – James Roberts

What to do if you are “phubbed” ?

It is important to address this issue in a calmly manner. Keep in mind that nobody likes to be told what to do, so your opening statement means the difference between being heard because their defensiveness wasn’t triggered, or not being heard because they feel attacked.

Below is the strategy to strengthen relationships and to avoid distraction from cell phone while spending time with your partner:

To phubbers – Create tech-free zones

Setting ground rules by keeping technology (cell phone, ipad, laptop) out of the bedroom and the dining room whenever possible. Accordingly to Roberts, this is ensure you are giving a full attention to your significant other. “Make it a hard and fast rule that there are no devices allowed at dinner or on date night,” he added.

Don’t let the new relationship buster – cell phone, to get into your way between your relationship and your partner. Fully committed, and focus on the person. Otherwise, you risk just living solitary lives under the same roof.

If you don’t want to hear your partner complains to you with “focus on me!”, you know what you should do by now – PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN.


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